Don’t worry, though, there’s no chance of you becoming a high-functioning sociopath simply by reading or watching Sherlock.
Sherlock was always an addict, an arrogant butthole (thanks to Cartman and co. and these related South Park shirts for that one), and generally not a massively nice person.
The glory of his relationship with Moriarty is how similar they are; how they like being at odds with each other and challenging each other, whereas the rest of us sit by like Watson. Who, exactly, is the villain?
I miss Sherlock. I didn’t think I’d like it but I do, and I miss it, and so here is some kickass Sherlock merchandise that’s out there.
1. Everyone Needs an A-door-able Blanket to Stay Warm at NightSource: ThinkGeek
They didn't film the shots of Baker Street actually in Baker Street—and if you want to know where they were filmed, check out Sherlockology's Sherlock location guide!—but the door totally exists and you can now get a fleece blanket to wrap yourself up in, that's in its image. Congratulations, geeklets. You win this one! In warmer months, it's even perfect to hang over the back of your sofa or keep on top of your bed, giving it multiple functions in multiple seasons. Sherlock might argue the logic behind that, but he also doesn't know a single thing about being warm.While you're here, go spy on these Star Wars comforters.
Get this super cozy 221B blanket on thinkgeek.com
2. An Artistic Piece Sherlock Merchandise That Shows the Importance of the BooksSource: iCanvas
Some Sherlock fans weren't aware of the books until the show, or until the movies with Iron Man in them, and some were, but either way, the show allowed the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle classics wound up being imbibed by a whole new generation of minds. Art shouldn't have to be something that's in a museum to be considered art, and minimalistic pieces that have been made for books and movies similar to this one can make a room look hella rad. (So can these Legend of Zelda posters, Star Wars posters, and superhero wall art prints).
Get this gorgeous Sherlock art print on iCanvas.com
3. Moriarty is Just SoOOoOOOo Changeable!Source: Amazon
He's also as fabulous as Donquixote Doflamingo and Myrtle Snow combined, and honey, you should see him in a crown. Being as fabulous as those two characters is a hard task when your main aim in life is to rattle the cage of an unrattleable soul. That's not a word but then, technically, neither is irregardless and it doesn't stop more than half the population from using it. Moriarty breaking into the Tower of London is such an epic scene made even better with the soundtrack that's layered over it, like we're in his head at that moment in time and when the cops bust him on the throne, in all of the jewels, I couldn't help but ask, "Sherlock who?"
Get the Moriarty crown jewels pop on amazon.com
4. Put Your High-Functioning Sociopathic Brains to Work With This PuzzleSource: ThinkGeek
I have done a bit of thinking about jigsaw puzzles and whether or not the generation who are being raised with smartphone and tablet apps are ever going to touch them outside of a pub, but there are so many cool ones out there that I hope they will. This Sherlock puzzle is a great accompaniment for these Star Wars puzzles and Pokemon puzzles, and the newspaper design it has makes it beyond impressive. It also looks like it'll be crazy difficult and so, geeklets, because I'm more of a Watson than a Sherlock, I'm going to leave the putting-it-together to you guys.
Get the Sherlock jigsaw puzzle on thinkgeek.com
5. Great for Cosplay but ALSO Great to Wear as a Fashion Statement LBRSource: Amazon
Sherlock's clothing leaves something to be desired for my own wardrobe. How is it black, navy, and grey can look so awesome? My guess is the tailoring, and boy, tailoring is a skill. I'm sure Sherlock does it himself because why would he let anyone else? This piece of Sherlock merchandise can function for cosplays, simply to have and wear it, or you can go for the gold and do both at once. Because we're geeks and goddamnit, we've earned being able to dress up! Now give me an awkward low-five...
Get the Sherlock cosplay replica scarf on amazon.com
6. The Obvious Fact Here is That This Sherlock Mug is AwesomeSource: Amazon
So, I'm a gigantic nerd (if the galaxy hoodies, Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts, and Jurassic Park toys articles didn't clue you in) and The Unemployed Philosopher's Guild makes the coolest, most unique literary-geek stuff out there if you ask me. They've got Simone de Beauvoir bookmarks and plush Teslas. They have Frida Kahlo stickers and Bob Ross mugs. They are AWESOME, and so is their selection of OG Sherlock merchandise like this here mug. I love them, they are awesome, and this Sherlock merchandise is awesome, and it is, quite frankly, the level of awesome that might make me cry. (They've also got a DC section!)
Get this Sherlock Holmes mug on amazon.com
7. Just in Case You Finished the Jigsaw Super Fast…Source: Amazon
If you did, I want to say both congratulations and that I'm envious of you. Puzzle books are a lost art, and I remember back in the days before smartphones existed, I'd take one on the road with me when I had almost half-day long trips to the other end of the country. Those says weren't that long ago, when you think about it, but they feel forever ago at the same time, and the technological advancements in the last ten years have me pretty much convinced that Terminator is gonna happen and that, when it does, I'll be in my Fallout shelter with my Fallout bobbleheads for funsies. The puzzles here prove to be challenging enough that they'd even challenge Sherlock. (So, it's a bunch of Sudoku then).
Get the Sherlock Holmes puzzle book on amazon.com
8. I Mean, We Told You He Was Changeable and So Did He!Source: Entertainment Earth
Don't ask me how he changed from a cute pop vinyl to an action figure in less time than it took me to drink my coffee, but spoiler alert: It was faster than Sonic the Hedgehog after a speed power-up. Spoiler alert on the spoiler alert: that's fast. Moriarty has, once again, surpassed Sherlock at doing something that nobody else has done. Granted, that's mostly because I chose the Moriarty figure instead of the Sherlock one but I'm just a very biased and easily-swayed individual.
Get this high quality Moriarty action figure on entertainmentearth.com
9. I Love Art Prints Like This, Even if it’s No Spray Painted Smiley FaceSource: Amazon
Also, not believing in or having a gun would ruin the gunshot-as-nose addition like Sherlock's, and honestly, that kind of wallpaper only works on that only TV show. Mycroft would never and neither would I, but we can both appreciate art and this is a great one. There's a similar poster in our Supernatural merchandise article, too, if you missed it. I'm not sure how the artists make the pictures of quotes from the shows but that, therein, lies the magic. So I don't even want to know.
Get the Sherlock art print with quotes on amazon.com
10. Luckily, You Don’t Need a Code to Go to Sleep on ThisSource: Amazon
Or, between us, to hug it close to your chest when you're upset by the death of your favorite character. Which is something a lot of us have had to deal with, literally just by getting invested in the numerous great TV shows that exist. This Sherlock cushion will keep you company when you don't even realize you need it. You can even use it to lean on if you're uncomfortable playing your video games and need something to protect your ribs from snapping. Yes, I speak from experience, and yes I'm still procrastinating from playing the third episode of Before the Storm.
Get this Sherlock pillow on amazon.com
11. That Mustache Was Almost Unforgivable, if I’m HonestSource: Entertainment Earth
The show got a fair amount of jokes in about it, too. I watched the Christmas special where it was all old-timey and I don't remember why it was old-timey but do remember that Watson looked more Watson than ever before. Faithful to the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle stories of yore, his mustache and hat combination made Guy Richie wish he hadn't touched the material and made me want an entire series dedicated to Mary. Am I alone there?
Get this Watson action figure on entertainmentearth.com
12. Here, Let This Book Function as a Sherlock Cheat SheetSource: Amazon
Between us, if I'd have had these big ideas books when I was in school, I wouldn't have passed my exams with a flat C. English aside, that is, I was pretty good at that for not paying attention. This Sherlock book pulls all of the intricately weaved clues, riddles, and puzzles from the original books, as well as quotes and diagrams that help you to understand the great detective's thought process. Outside of, you know, "me me me" and also, "drugs." The Sherlock Holmes book is a must-have piece of Sherlock merchandise for fans of the show, the movies, the books. Heck, even Basil the Great Mouse Detective.
Get the Sherlock Big Ideas Simply Explained book on amazon.com
For more geeky TV gift gold, get a load of this Iron Fist merchandise, Walking Dead merchandise, the Punisher merchandise, American Horror Story shirts. OH, and these Walking Dead coffee mugs, too. Because you’re gonna need a lot of caffeine to get through waiting for season 5. If there is a season 5…