These Jurassic Park Toys Are Cretaceously Bodacious

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Everybody has that One Geek Topic they could ace at on Mastermind. For me, that topic is dinosaurs.

It’s crazy how far research into prehistoric beasts has gotten in the twenty years since Jurassic Park came out.

We now know that the velociraptors — and other species — had feathers. Brontosaurus was “Plutoed”, being disregarded as a dinosaur and reinstated.

The one thing that’s remained is: Dinosaurs are awesome.

Here are some equally awesome Jurassic Park toys for you to check out!

1. This T-Rex Action Figure Will Eat You From the Toilet

Lifelike T-Rex Action FigureSource:
Why is that scene one of the best in movie history? The lawyer who’s clearly out for money and nothing but hides in the porta-potty when the T-Rex is on the loose. Because that makes sense…(?) And then, he gets eaten right off of it. Serves him right for having to go on the job, doesn’t it? There’s a moral to be found here. Anyway, this model looks just like the T-Rex from the Jurassic Park franchise, and how can you not love her?

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2. Light Up Your Life With A Dinosaur Construction Kit

Dinosaurs Lighted Construction SetSource:
Now, Jurassic Park toys are numerous, but what’s even more numerous are dinosaur toys. There was a triceratops on the island, and now there’s a triceratops you can put together using these tiny, illuminated bricks. Once they’ve been constructed, the finished product will look amazing in your bedroom or on your desk, and if this is made by National Geographic, you know that these are Jurassic Park toys that are gonna be true to life. Dinosaurs had feathers and lit up!

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3. Dig Up These Dinosaur Eggs

Dig Up Dinosaur EggsSource:
And then dig into them. These 12 eggs have dinosaurs hiding inside, ready to be excavated. Back in the day, you had to join an exhibition to do this. Now? All you need do is buy a kit like this and then you can either excavate all twelve yourself or throw a dinosaur-themed birthday party for your kid/s and give them out. One each! They come with chisels and everything that’s needed to truly be a paleontologist in this era. Which dinosaur do you want?

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4. Identify Species With This Dinosaur Jigsaw Puzzle

1000-Piece Smithsonian Dinosaur PuzzleSource:

Directly from the Smithsonian, you know this puzzle is a good one. Because, geeklets, how awesome is science? Very. This puzzle adapts the identification chart into a 1000-piece jigsaw with true-to-life dinosaur drawings and facts about them. Learn while you play, you won’t regret starting this but you might regret finishing it. Might I suggest “Brontosaurus”ing it by mixing up puzzle pieces so it’s never truly complete? Frustrating, but it’ll keep you going!

If you like puzzles, you should have a look at these awesome Star Wars puzzles and Pokemon puzzles too!

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5. T-Rex is King of the Jurassic Park Toys No Longer

Electronic Pterodactyl Hatchling PlushSource:
Not when there’s an adorable, animatronic, sound-creating pterodactyl hatchling right here is in town. Or, on the island, I guess. This little guy might look innocent, but if you’ve ever seen Jurassic Park 3 — if you haven’t, you should. It’s so underrated! — you’ll know that’s not the case one bit. You’ll never get tired of this little dude who only activates when you make him, unlike Furbies. Aka DEMONS.

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6. Jurassic Park Lego Playsets Assemble!

Jurassic World Pteranodon Lego SetSource:
You can get a bunch of Jurassic World/Jurassic Park toy sets by Lego. It doesn’t have to be the Pteranodon here. Look around for more! I picked this guy again, because of Jurassic Park 3, so I can spend my days trying to enforce the masterpiece that is William H Macy clinging to the side of a cliff as the Pteranodon’s dive into the net onto everyone.

Get the Jurassic World Pteranodon Lego Set on

7. Release Your Demons With This Stressasaur

Squeezy Stress T-RexSource:
Stress balls have come and gone out of general consciousness over the years but they’ve never truly gone out of style. They’ve taken other forms, like this T-Rex that you can squeeze in your hand when you’re so frustrated you want to cry but can’t because he’s so soft and squishy! They really do help, too. More, I would say, in my ancient years, than fidget spinners. (There are some cool geeky ones of those too though…)

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8. Jurassic World Monopoly! Which Piece Will You Use?

Jurassic World MonopolySource:
When I was picking out my favorite Jurassic Park toys for this article, I came across a board game I had when I was a kid. That board game, now, is going for over two hundred bucks and, as unluck would have it, I sold mine at a car boot sale over 20 years ago. For, like, less than a pound. Which is like, a couple of bucks. Darwin award. Anyway, you can be Richard Attenborough’s character in Jurassic World Monopoly or, WHAM, Dino DNA. Dibs on the DNA.

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9. Cuddle Up to T-Rex At Night

Jurassic Park T-Rex Pillow BuddySource:

He’ll scare the monsters away. T-Rex is the best kind of pillow buddy plush you can get. Spiders won’t crawl on you during the night when he’s there beside you because of his… soft, thin teeth. Not that they crawl on you usually. Nooo. No. Cough. Not at all.

So, uh, where were we?

Oh yeah, the Jurassic World T-Rex plush! So cute! And sweet! So not gonna eat you when you have to pee in the middle of the night. I didn’t say spiders once.

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10. Shakem Up With a Baby Velociraptor

Velociraptor ShakemSource:
Three of the stand out scenes in the Jurassic Park movie, on seeing it in cinemas when I shouldn’t have been at the cinema as it was certified as too old for me, are still some of my favorite movie scenes ever. 1) The Brachiosaurus eating the leaves. (Like Ellie and Grant, I had tears and still tear up to this day). 2) THE TRICERATOPS BREATHING. And 3) the baby Velociraptor hatching out of the egg. Where is it? I need it, I want it, I must have it. If I can’t have the actual Velociraptor, I don’t even mind. This Jurassic Park toy is the perfect substitute.

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11. These Dinosaur Excavation Kits Are Really Cool

Dinosaur Excavation KitsSource:

Literally, am wondering why they didn’t exist twenty years ago. That said like I’m going to let that stop me from getting back in touch with my paleontological roots. Psh, you’re kidding. These three excavation kits have a T-Rex, Triceratops and a Stegosaurus to excavate and put together. When they’re done, display them wherever you want to display them or take them apart to put them together again.

Nostalgic sigh.

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12. Metal Earth’s Pteranodon Model Kit is Badass Too

Metal Pteranodon Model KitSource:
I first learned about Metal Earth model kits when I was looking for cool gifts for our Transformer toys article. They made the coolest Optimus Prime you’ve ever seen and, I’m pleased to say, they do some dinosaur model kits too! Put your brain to the test with a model kit that’s unlike any dinosaur puzzle you’ve ever seen before then put it next to the ones you excavated. They might get annoyed this one is shiny but hey, maybe they need to think of how Pokemon feel!

Get this Metal Pteranodon Model Kit on