9 Spiderman Action Figures for Freedom from Sticky Situations

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Oh, hello.

[pause for laughter]

It’s me. Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Fan overjoyed that Homecoming succeeded in allowing the collective mass to forget that Spider-Man 3 ever happened. Thanks, Stan Lee!

I have a question for you that I want you to answer by the time we get to the end of this article. Who would win in a fight? Spiderman action figures or Venom action figures?

Let’s hear what the Spidey ones have to say.

1. It’s Hard Being a Teen and Being Bit by a Spider

Spiderman action figure deluxeSource: Sideshow

Quintessentially awkward, broody teenager Peter Parker is as one would expect. With the first few Spider-Man movies back in the day when Nickelback existed as being more than a reunion tour to confuse all of us, Peter seemed like kind of a wet blanket. Not at all like the sassy talk-back teen who both impresses and annoys Tony Stark or gives Deadpool a run for his money. Homecoming has a Spidey a lot of us can identify with, however old we are and this Spiderman action figure has that mood down perfectly.

Get Hot Toys' deluxe Spiderman action figure on sideshowtoy.com

2. How Many Spider-Man Movies Does That Make This?

Spiderman Homecoming action figureSource: Amazon

There were several between Tobey Maguire's trilogy and Homecoming, but then there was also an Incredible Hulk that starred Eric Bana and even one that had Ed Norton and think about just how many people remember that one. This Spiderman action figure is one of the most versatile for its price range, meaning that facing off against any one of the Venom action figures out there would give it a one up. Spidey: 1, Venom: 0. For now... Quick, text Venom that to let him know.  

Get the Spider-Man homecoming action figure on amazon.com

3. Tech-nically, Peter Parker IS a Big Deal

Spiderman action figure techsuitSource: Amazon

I sure do envy the tech suit. I also sure do envy this Spiderman action figure that I don't have and wish I did. What's weird is that I'm more drawn to Spidey the more time I spend calling him an obnoxious teenager. Any connection to Deadpool is a connection of mine; that's a thing that happens when you're so far on the outside you surpass the X-Men in their outsiderness. Tech suit Spidey has so many poses, you won't know what to do. He'll beat out literally any other action figure you have when it comes to a fight. I mean, except maybe the Yoda in our Star Wars action figures article...

Get the tech suit Spiderman action figure on amazon.com

4. Spider-Gwen Should Never be Omitted from a Spiderman Action Figures Collective

Spider-Gwen action figureSource: Entertainment Earth

Surely I'm not alone in wanting to avert another #WheresRey situation. Revisiting what happened there should have taught toy and action figure makers a lesson: US GIRLS LIKE THEM TOO. That's right, and not in the way that 20-something guys have appropriated My Little Pony. We like them in the way that there's nothing anywhere that says only boys should like superheroes or action figures. Some of us do. Some of us like wrestling action figures. Hell, between us? Some of us even play video games...  

Get this Spider-Gwen action figure on entertainmentearth.com

5. Spider-Man has More than One Expression

retro Spiderman action figureSource: Amazon

He has two! Look, it's one more than Affleck's Batman has.  

...and you're also welcome. This retro Spiderman action figure is essentially a collectible that, if you're an OG Spider-Fan, you're gonna benefit from having around. He might not be able to save you the way Lego Batman does but not everybody can be the Best Superhero of All Time Who Ages Tremendously. And that's okay. Particularly considering Spidey will literally be a teenager until the end of time. Hey! Just like us uber-nerds.

Get this retro style Spiderman action figure on amazon.com

6. Wanna Hang Out with Spidey?

Spider-Man action figureSource: Amazon

When there's an easy enough play on words to go for, my advice will always be to go for it. This Spiderman action figure has magnetic hands and feet, meaning that if you're anything like me, you're imagining all the surfaces you could try to stick him to. He has a ton of accessories including multiple web shots and heads, and the only thing missing is a slice of pizza. But come on. There are enough Ninja Turtle figures out there to easily fix that problem. Spidey: 2

Get this Spidey action figure on amazon.com

7. This Spiderman Action Figure is Bigger than our Heads

Spiderman 2099 action figureSource: Sideshow

That much is also guaranteed unless you're Drop Dead Fred in the scene where he gets his head stuck in the refrigerator. If you know the one, you know the one. With his home on Earth-928, Miguel O'Hara takes up Peter's helm in a way that would make 2002 movie-era Peter quit due to the supreme jealousy of just... not being as cool. Like Miguel, the quality of this Spiderman action figure will legit knock your superhero socks off, so I'd advise wearing boots.

Get the Spider-Man 2099 action figure on sideshowtoys.com

8. Venom is Gonna be Hella Annoyed Spidey Used his Color Scheme

Spiderman action figure black variant Spiderman 3Source: Entertainment Earth

He'll also have to deal with it, because he's worn red himself, and the black Spidey suit is due its day in the sun without having to be linked to the emo Spider-Man 3. This, uh, statement aside... Out of all of the Spiderman action figures that I looked through to pick out my favorites, this is The One. This is the figure I'd swipe right on if there was a Tinder kind of app for collectors without a second thought, and when you see it for yourself, you'll co-sign in a heartbeat.

Get this black variant Spider-Man action figure on entertainmentearth.com

9. Are You Ready for a Revoltechlution?

Spiderman action figure revoltechSource: Amazon

Since you'll no longer have socks on from two figures ago, Revoltech's collector's items will blow your mind instead. These figures are so carefully crafted that it looks as though the characters have been ripped off of the pages and thrown into 3D war. With great, realistic sculpts, your Venom action figures will have difficulty going against this guy. Unless that is, you use Revoltech's Venom and then, well, you'll have to write the end of that story yourself. (But tell us about it).

Get this Spider-Man action figure on amazon.com

What’s the verdict?

If you love comics and you don’t think DC and Marvel can be compared, here is a bunch more superhero action figures you’re gonna love: