We’re easy for science. Nicola Tesla makes us happy and we just love space. Early last year, we picked out a few galaxy hoodies and astronomy gifts, and the process of doing that genuinely made all of us feel over the moon.
There was only one frontier left to visit with everyone’s favorite astrophysicist: Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts. His official store is fantastic and offers up shirt designs that are by his fans. So, are you ready to be bold and go where no (wo)man has gone before?
Good, let’s… go, then.
1. It’s the One Thing More Beautifully Expansive than CoffeeSource: Amazon
All too fittingly for an article that combines all of our favorite Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts from his store, this month also brings something wholly unique. Not only do we have a blue moon—that's when there are two full moons in one month—we have two supermoons in one month. I have no idea what that means but Mr. Neil deGrasse Tyson would. Since we can't have our own personal Neils—I'd like a mini-Gaiman too—we're gonna have to make do with him on our shirts. This one right here combines so many beautiful, smart and wonderful things. In a very particular order: coffee, the Universe, and NdGT.
Get the smell of the Universe t-shirt on amazon.com
2. I Mean, There Are Way WAY Worse People to Pick to be Your HomeboySource: Amazon
Where do we start that isn't political? I mean, besides everywhere else. Tesla is my homeboy, but I can make room for Neil whose brain is bigger and smarter than mine even would have been if I hadn't have stunted its growth with caffeine and video games. You should totally wear this Neil deGrasse Tyson shirt to school, to college, or to a sports game. Heck, throw a blazer over it and wear it to the office—psst, this especially works if you're in IT—and you'll have dozens of people's attention. What can I say? That right there is the power of Neil, and if I also said he's probably a witch, would that mean he'd be interested in these Harry Potter wands or American Horror Story shirts?
Get the Neil is My Homeboy shirt on amazon.com
3. What Does One Call a Professional Portmanteau?Source: Amazon
Jobmanteau? Something about that sounds weird, but let's go with it the way we did Kuchi Kopi in our Bob's Burgers merchandise article, okay? This isn't bad for a jobmanteau. Given he is an astrophysicist and he is a bad ass, Neil has the market of Cool Scientist cornered above a majority of his contemporaries. It's also censored meaning you can tell kids it means something totally different like, "ams" or, I don't know, "aps" for apps but they spelled it wrong. Neil deGrasse Tyson apps. Man, he should have one of those. I'd put it in my space app collection.
Get the Neil deGrasse Tyson badass shirt on amazon.com
4. Let’s All Wear This to a Creationist “Museum”!Source: Amazon
Since I still can't believe there are people out there who believe evolution is made up, I'm actually questioning whether or not the Creationist museum I saw a link to online last week is real. I hope it's not but I know it is. Well, this Neil deGrasse Tyson shirt hasn't got time for that. He, as we all should, believes in science and science says we evolved from the character Brendon Fraser plays in Encino Man because we did. And, I mean, I had a jigsaw puzzle of Noah's Ark as a kid and there were no dinosaurs on it. I had another jigsaw puzzle for that, and in the documentary Jurassic Park, they brought dinosaurs back to life through science.
Get this funny Neil deGrasse Tyson shirt on amazon.com
5. This Neil deGrasse Tyson Shirt is Like a Wearable TED TalkSource: Amazon
This time last year, I might have said something along the lines of, "Everybody needs a Dark Souls shirt!" Or, "We all needs some Halo action figures in their life!" (I probably did). This year, I'm saying, "Everybody needs a portable TED talk!" Enough of things like that cyber pet in the Digimon toys article, enough Life is Strange shirts (but only because I've yet to play the third part of Before the Storm and, quite frankly, am not ready to let go of those characters a second time), make sure people who see you learn a thing or two which is gonna be way easier in this Neil deGrasse Tyson shirt. I assure you that.
Get the Neil deGrasse Tyson quotes shirt on amazon.com
6. We Love You But Please Don’t Drop PlutoSource: Amazon
Due to there being literally nothing NdGT cannot do, the assumption that he can juggle nine things at the same time is basically child's play. For all we know, Neil invented juggling. I was gonna say something about him being a reincarnated genius but I don't really know the status of science vs reincarnation, so I'll go with what The Lion King told me and say...All that genuinely matters is the fact that Ghost Inside My Child should have run for way longer than it did.
Get this Neil deGrasse Tyson solar system shirt on amazon.com
7. Everything is Possible, Science Says So!Source: Amazon
While this is an awesome idea, I'd like him to extend this to the Eastern side of the great pond known as the Atlantic, too. This is the best thing to come out of the ridiculous slogan about making America great again, this and AHS: Cult (check out some American Horror Story shirts here!) and a few other things like the timelessly incredible Kathy Griffin's photograph of her holding the fake head of a certain covfefe citer. Intelligence and smarts are the way to move the world forward and the thing we're going through at the moment is just a temporary glitch. America and the world will get smart again. And if not, let's all play Fallout 4 so we're aptly prepared.
Get the make America smart again shirt on amazon.com
8. Does Counting Ax Swings Before I Turn into a Beaver on Don’t Starve Count?Source: Amazon
Or would that come under "math" like these Pi gifts? This is a genuine question for which I'd like a genuine response. That's how science works, isn't it? Look at me, I'm learning! Of all the official Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts, this one is the most passive aggressive and, therefore, the best one to wear to the office or lectures. Don't worry, you don't have to hang up your Big Bang Theory shirts for good, the more t-shirts a person owns the better. Less laundry. Also science.
Get this sassy Neil deGrasse Tyson shirt on amazon.com
9. Which is Also True of Ghosts, But Literally Only Because Peter Venkman Said SoSource: Amazon
Peter Venkman of Ghostbusters mugs fame, that is, just in case there's anyone else out there who loved the 2016 version of the movie as much as I did. (It was a lot, I was a very successful Holtzmann for Halloween last year). I'm sure NdGT would have a thing or two to say about that but, at the minute, he's not here, so he gets no say because Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts CANNOT SPEAK. So I will: ghosts are real and so is science. Fin. The End. Finish-in-other-languages.
Get the good thing about science tee on amazon.com
10. You Don’t Really Need More Than One, So it WorksSource: Amazon
Let's face it, you could do worse. You could have Darth Vader as a personal astrophysicist and then all you'd learn is why the Jedi needed to end long before Luke Skywalker said they did. If not science, how else do you think the blasters and lightsabers work? Not to mention how the TIE fighters and X-Wings fly, or how the Death Star was built and was able to stay in one position without being attached by strings like Tommy Lee. You're science, I'm science. It's all science!
Get the personal astrophysicist tee on amazon.com
11. Man, Now I Just Want a Neil deGrasse Tyson Action FigureSource: Amazon
I think it'd look great alongside such classics as these The Flash action figures, Wolverine action figures, Venom action figures and maybe even Pokemon action figures. It's just a shame he doesn't actually come as one, as far as I know, but then I haven't yet started on my descent into the worldwide science web for gifts for scientists and if I did, And then I'd never come out, due to being sucked into oblivion inside of a black hole or a vacuum or... they're the same thing. Nevermind. I need more Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts in my life, clearly.
Get the science works! shirt on amazon.com
12. A Mix of Bowie, Star Wars and Science? This Neil deGrasse Tyson Shirt Was Made For MeSource: Amazon
There actually is science behind this. Every piece of matter on earth came from a star. The Earth came from a star, and everything on it did, too. If you're not convinced, I can direct you to plenty of other Neil deGrasse Tyson shirts that will do the trick to convince you. Still not convinced? Wikipedia and National Geographic exist for a reason. Just like we do. Our reason is to simply exist, like all of the stars that are up there we love. There doesn't need to be anything more than that. (And Neil deGrasse Tyson...)
Get this Neil deGrasse Tyson quote tee on amazon.com