We’ll be using spaceman in the gender neutral term because girls can be astronauts too. Ellen Ochoa, for example, is amazing, and a legit hero. And then there are people like me who are writing about space while staring up into the cosmos in a NASA bomber jacket, pretending they know all the constellations.
Space really is the final frontier, and it’s one that we’re never ever going to know the extent of. That, in itself, is fascinating. There’s no end to it, but we are getting to know more about our own galaxy more every year. New planets and solar systems are being discovered and it makes you wonder…
For all my fellow space faces, we’ve pulled together 9 galaxy hoodies for you. You know, just in case your wardrobe wasn’t cool enough already…
1. This Realistic Galaxy Hoodie Will Have You One with the Stars
In a world like this one, especially as geeks, we tend to wear way too much black. A lot of our geeky shirts are black-based designs and it’s nice because you can stand out, without being too loud. But sometimes you have to stand out, and there’s no better way to do that than to, first, pick an awesome design. The all over print on this galaxy hoodie makes it look like you’re wearing the galaxy; like you are the galaxy. Forget about Ego the Living Planet from Guardians of the Galaxy. Heck, forget being a guardian of the galaxy. In this, you are the galaxy. You’ll never blend in again! And you know what? You shouldn’t have to!
2. One with the Stars, One with the Cosmos
I mentioned once before how cool it is that the makeup of a brain cell looks so much like the makeup of the galaxy. I never forget that. Sometimes I actually lie awake at night thinking about it, then I remember something an old friend of mine once said to me that’s stuck in my head ever since. It was one of those things that I’d always felt too but had never been able to put into words; that everything going on for us is part of something bigger, that we could have a universe inside our heads. If that’s so, too, what’s to say we’re not a universe inside of something else’s? The colors on this are amazingly vivid, making it perfect for the person in your life who loves getting astronomy gifts!
3. E.T. Phone Home, but Wear this Hoodie First
You’ll get better reception. Why? Because, E.T., fashion matters. Now, why are you pointing your finger in my direction? Wait, why is it glowing?? The print on this figure flattering galaxy hoodie reminds me of the film E.T. because of the silhouettes of the trees. You can just picture Elliot and the other boys taking off to fly out in front of the sky on it. And I want E.T. to try one on because in the 80s, despite vintage shops seeming to think otherwise, there just wasn’t any cool clothes. These galaxy hoodies are all my personal ideal hoodie: they’re soft, fitted, and not too bulky. Perfect for star gazing on a summer’s eve.
4. Kickstart Your Space Mission in this Unisex Hoodie
Just because products always seem to go unread by buyers that review items, this hoodie does run on Asian sizing, which means they’re a couple of sizes behind us in the west. If you’re a medium, for example, sizing up to XL is your best bet for a close, comfortable fit. That said, the design on this hoodie isn’t an all over one, so if you want to stand out but maybe not as much as when wearing the entire galaxy all over your torso (your loss!) this sweet, suave little hoodie is the perfect mix. To infinity and the covers of Vogue!
5. If You Were in a Film at the IMAX in this, You’d Blow People’s Minds
You’ve seen the What’s it like in Space? Stories From Astronauts Who’ve Been There book, I’ve seen the book, I want the book still and plan to get it when I’m not finishing my collection of Twin Peaks pop vinyls, but I’ve got the best vision right now. Kind of inspired by the Neverending Story film (if you’ve seen it), of me, lying in my attic (I don’t have an attic), in this galaxy hoodie instead of a blanket, reading the aforementioned book. (Or playing with my little my little space mission sandbox…) It’s such a good vision I… kind of am not ready to let it go. Will you join me in it instead?
6. This Galaxy Hoodie Will Change Your Life
At the least, it’ll make your laundry look way cooler when it’s drying just because of its presence. The thing I’m waiting for with these galaxy hoodies, really, is to find the type with a zipper. Mostly because I want to stick a little rocket or Millennium Falcon on the end of it to reach the peak geek status I don’t quite think I’ve reached yet. In time, fellow geeklings. In time. All of the hoodies we’ve picked out have a great lightweight feel to them, and this one is no exception. I wonder if you could wear them in space…
7. Immerse Yourself in the 3D Planetary Experience
Anyone that does will be solar..cky. That didn’t work. They’d be lucky, to make up for the failed pun. Of all the Galaxy hoodies, this one has my favorite design. I’m also a massive fan of the sleeves being pinched at the cuffs this way. Not sure about you guys, but I’m a Puller, so most of my pullovers and sweatshirts get misshapen to pieces just from one wear. Cuffs like this stop that and because I’d hate to ruin something so beautiful, they’re kind of a necessity. But you know what’s gonna blow your mind the most (it does mine) when you look at this picture and realize that… that is our galaxy. That’s where we live. That exists. How magic, awesome, and brilliant is that? I’m not high, you’re high…
8. Okay I’m High on Life but LOOK AT THIS, WE LIVE HERE
We’re a tiny fraction of this. We’re a fraction of a tiny fraction of this, and this is a tiny fraction of the whole galaxy, which is a tiny fraction of the whole universe. And who even knows how many universes are out there, or how many universes there are in those universes, or if there’s ever an end to the universes. It blows your mind when you start thinking about it and I don’t think I’ve ever been able to think of space and not feel like I’ve just accidentally fallen into the middle of an acid trip. It’s so cool. And REAL, guys. It’s real!!
9. I’m Sorry, Your Discover Geek Operator is Not Available Right Now, Please Leave a Message…
She has collapsed at her desk, hair in coffee, toast crumbs down her bra. While she’s still alive, the doctors say her brain actually exploded. Found in front of her were manic scribblings. On the screen of her computer, pictures of galaxy hoodies and wrapped in her galaxy outer space bedding in the middle of summer. The scribblings, for the most part, make no sense. One sentence that does is the following: IT’S REAL IT’S REAL HOOLY SHIT IT’S REAL WHAT. It appears space led to the black hole of which she shall never return from. (That’s left at the Milky Way if you’ve joined her).
Godspeed, you geeky emperor.