Let’s face it, we all feel like a walker when we wake up. Too early, too late, just on time but our bodies are just craving the caffeine fix they need to get us kick started. Even though it’s our own fault for getting them addicted to it, it’s a problem that going cold turkey on is just… I wouldn’t wish that on my own worst enemy.
Caffeine is FANTASTIC. It’s a life force. If the people in the Walking Dead universe had drunk more coffee and gone to Starbucks less, maybe the virus wouldn’t have become as widespread.
It’s time to slip your zombie head plush slippers and stick t’kettle on because we’ve got some badass Walking Dead coffee mugs JUST for you.
1. The More Coffee You Drink From This Walking Dead Coffee Mug, The Closer You’ll Get to Getting Your Brains Eaten
Better keep filling it up, just in case. There’s no point in letting your coffee go cold, not when there’s a hissing Walker emerging from the bottom of it. It’s hungry and it wants you. The only thing you can do to chase it away is to burn it with coffee. Or infuse it. Maybe the antidote to the virus is caffeine? Maybe it works in a similar way to Ritalin. If a human was to take it, they’d get hyperactively productive. If a Walker did it, they’d be basically catatonic. I mean, has nobody thought to try that yet instead of the whole stab-em-in-the-brains deal?
2. Daryl Will Only Drink Non-Alcoholic Coffee if it’s from this Crossbow Mug
Because have you ever seen Daryl Dixon holding anything but his crossbow? (Or any other weapon if said crossbow is unavailable). Purely drinking alcohol and sauntering around with a knife in your boot can’t be the most fun way to spend an apocalyptic Thursday. How does he even wake up? DOES he wake up? If he were to put some espresso in this Walking Dead coffee mug, he might actually drink kit. If coffee is more healthy for the system than anything, it’s going to be moonshine. Am I right or am I wrong?
3. Half of this Coffee Belongs to Negan??
That makes him a good guy if you ask me. Sure, he beat a couple of characters to death in front of the rest of the gang. That’s fair. But if he’s only drinking HALF of a coffee rather than the whole thing, It works out so much better than losing half of your arms, your people, and your belongings because half a coffee is still a coffee. You can’t say he hasn’t given us anything. Or maybe the other half is for Lucille. If he was to soak her in coffee, would that class as her drinking it? Furthermore, would a caffeine-infused Lucille be any less chill?
4. Tell Everyone How You Really Feel, Abraham Would
I actually have a Ron Swanson mug that’s a similar design and whenever I’m feeling disgruntled, I whip it out. (Not like that). Abraham was such a good character and he only got better with time. Glen fans might not have known how to take him at first but the rest of us (the small amount that didn’t have any thoughts about him either way) loved him. He was the powerful biker you wanted the dude from Sons of Anarchy to be, without the pointless sex scenes and storylines. At the end of the world, you wouldn’t want Rick to be your leader, you’d want someone like Abraham who’d tell the walkers to suck his nuts.
5. There’s Something in the House, Don’t Take a Shower
We at Discover Geek have a long history of loving heat changing mugs. Having a Walking Dead one with the image of a zombie trying to break through your shower curtain is the best of the best. Even if you’re not a Walking Dead fan — I wasn’t for a long time when the change happened I can’t say without using the words Carol and Barn — you’ll love this Walking Dead coffee mug because of its zombiness. Everyone, no matter who they are, loves a good zombie flick or story. I’ve yet to run into somebody that doesn’t in my I’m-totally-not-lying-here-at-all 21 years on earth.
6. Fight the Dead with this Walking Dead Coffee Mug
Fearing the living is a life lesson that everybody during a zombie apocalypse needs to learn. If you and your crew come across a well put together town or factory that look like they’re there because somebody has taken the initiative to be a leader you’re half right. The rest of you is so wrong it might land you on the stake for burning before it gives you an ordinary life. Andrea (in the TV show at least) learned that the hard way. Much as I hated that storyline and the fact the Governor stood between the Greatest Love Story Of Our Time (that’s Andrea and Michonne, nothing to do with Rick), at least one person learned the valuable lesson that people are just assholes.
7. Negan Will Shut that Shit Down, Which Ironically, is What Caffeine Does Best
He’ll shut down anything he likes, come to think of it. He’s Negan and his sidekick, Lucille, is a sadistic bat wrapped in barbed wire and controlled by a psychopath. A gorgeous one, but a psychopath all the same. Shut down the people who you don’t want to talk to before mid-morning with a Walking Dead coffee mug full of a damn fine brew. And if you’re not convinced by that, why not get the Walking Dead pop-up book to at least make your morning coffee break less hellish?
8. Keep Calm and Kill Zombies… While You Drink Coffee
We have two hands that work, assuming we haven’t been bitten and/or are in the process of dying given the virus is in our systems, to begin with. You’ll miss nothing if you’re holding your coffee in your Walking Dead mug in one hand and your axe-slash-machete in the other, you might even react quicker since you won’t be suffering from the lack of caffeine in your system.
I also actually just had a horrific realization: what if coffee production ceases to exist in the apocalypse…?
9. Coraaaaaaaal Has a Habit of Going Missing and Getting into Trouble, Just Like His Dad…
For us, that means we get to sit back, titter at, and make memes of Rick yelling for his son in such a strong, Southern accent that it sounds like he’s dyslexic and reading out Carol’s name from a whiteboard. Which, you know, with the narrative order of the Walking Dead being what it is, completely could be something that could happen. Coral, stuff, and things are three words that make the Walking Dead fans stand out from the non-fans. Ask one what they’re doing and they’ll tell you stuff. Things. Drinking from Walking Dead coffee mugs is a Thing. And as for stuff, just go check out our The Walking Dead merchandise…
10. Heart Eyes Abound for Daryl Dixon
There was a point where everybody feared he’d be one member of the cast that had been announced to die. How could that possibly be so? Daryl is one of the main characters as far as the TV show is concerned! That’d be like killing off Jon Sn-oh, wait. Jokes aside, the whole “if Daryl dies we riot” movement is 100% understandable. See, I’m of the, “if Carol Ever Dies, I’ll Make You Look at the Flowers”, and I like to think because both characters are so intertwined, we’re sort of on the same wavelength. Let’s discuss it over coffee.
11. This Walking Dead Coffee Mug Wants to Lend You a Hand
…and I’ll never get tired of making that pun, the same way as I’ll never get tired of making “get ahead” puns. Because that’s how I roll, and by God, do I do it well. If you were to pick me for your zombie apocalypse contingency team, I could offer you endless puns if you keep my coffee supply topped up. I’m essentially a vampire with blood, only the blood I crave is caffeine and without it, well, geeklings, we wouldn’t be talking right now. This mug’s handle is, well, a hand. It’s kinda sweet if you think about it. You’ll be holding hands with a walker whenever you’re drinking your coffee/tea/grown-up-drink. Makes for a kinda peaceful end, doesn’t it?