Dearest Barry Allen, in all of your variations and incarnations, one thing remains true: You’re hella fast.
You’re like Mo Farah on speed, caffeine, and a successful Overwatch Payload run fast.
Does it help you to sleep knowing you could win every Olympic medal without breaking a sweat?
Man, I bet you even love running for your Uber.
Could you grab us some Flash merchandise so we can support from afar?
1. Beanie There, Done That
Make this winter go by faster by getting this Flash beanie, complete with wings. While it looks as though you’ll be able to take off a la Mario in Super Mario 64, you can’t, but sometimes appearances are all that matters. Just look at the difference in respect between Superman and Clark Kent. You’d never believe they were the same person, even though they look freakin’ identical. This beanie is a cool piece of Flash merchandise that’ll keep you warm too.
2. Even Superheroes Have Cuddle Buddies
As it happens, Tony Stark has a few Iron Man plushes of his very own. Most of which he sleeps with and is a huge reason why Pepper Potts can’t believe she’s still spending time with him. You can’t blame him. I mean, you could but there’s nobody that will benefit from you taking on Stark Industries. You will, however, benefit from this adorable The Flash teddy bear. His name? Bear-y Allen.
Beary Allen, though!!!
3. Down Your Coffee in a Flash
And no, if you must know, I’m not going to get tired of using that word this way. If he didn’t want puns, he wouldn’t have called himself The Flash. He would’ve called himself Pretty Fast or Quite Rapid. But HE DIDN’T. He goes by The Flash and so, in an article full of the best The Flash merchandise and collectibles, he’ll just have to deal.
4. This Action Figure is Gigantic
There are quite a few cool Flash action figures out there (stay tuned for a few of our faves in the near future!) but none are as big or as mighty as this one. Basically, the Big Figs action figures line by JAKKS consists of some of our favorite DC superheroes that are almost three times the size of a regular one. They’re great if you’re an action figure collector or for your son, niece or Godgeek to play with.
5. Track Your Fitness… in a Flash!
Look, I warned you ahead of time: “in a flash” is gonna be used a lot. It fits here though! Having a device that functions as a pedometer that’s also pretty geeky just, for a moment, makes me feel like everything is once again right with the world. This piece of Flash merchandise is more than just an item to put on a shelf, you can wear it all the time and it’ll tell you how many steps you’ve taken. How do you think Barry Allen became Barry Allen? Why, with a fitness tracker, of course!
6. I Can’t Stand How Cute This T-Shirt Is!
Literally, I’m curling into a ball like an empty cocoon after Alien or one of the Gremlins have bust out of it because there’s nothing else to do. Or like the monsters in the moat in Willow (have you seen Willow? Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer! Check it out). This Flash shirt shrinks Barry Allen down until he’s a chibi with a ‘tude. The only thing that’s quite cuter is Baby Groot.
Love Groot too? Check out these Baby Groot gifts!
7. This Poster is a Vital Piece of Flash Merchandise
Posters are something you never grow out of. Arguably, geeky toys and action figures are the same, but I’ll admit that there are a few fellow geeks out there who aren’t so much action figure or toy types. They will be poster types. We’re all poster types. Look at the walls of whatever room you’re in and tell me what you see. That Gustav Klimt print above your bed? Technically a poster. Posters are awesome and this Flash poster from the TV show is beyond cool.
8. The Essential Flash Action Figure
In accordance with DC’s line — well, Essentials — I figure it’s got to be. Get it? Figure. This guy is a great addition to a budding collection or just as your first and only. If you’re a fan of the Flash and want something quite small to put on your desk in the office or at home, you don’t have to look further than DC’s essentials to get exactly that. Wanna use him as a toy? You can do that too! Have a photo shoot with him! He knows more poses than Zoolander.
9. Snap! What Card Game Will You Play?
If I had any idea how many neat geeky playing card sets there were out there, I’d have started my collection a lot sooner than the James Bond ones I got around the time the new Casino Royale was released. (I’m still salty about Spectre, by the way. So much potential, though I’ll admit Goldeneye set a high bar). SO, what game will it be? The possibilities are endless.
10. To Cap it Off…
Here we have a leather-style snap back from Bioworld aka one of the best Flash merchandise dealer/creators in the world. They make some of the most awesome stuff I’ve seen in my time at DGHQ and, let me tell you, we spend a lot of time trawling the web for the best geeky gifts you might not have seen. They don’t just do The Flash or DC stuff either, their interests are as wide as any other geeks, and who better to trust??
11. Look at This Flashy Phone Case!
Phones are delicate creatures. We know this and yet we still anticipate the release of the newest model, even though the glass will be from side to side and I daren’t imagine what would happen to that in my hands. Or if Harley Quinn and her mallet were to go anywhere near it. Oy. We should always protect them, even if our phone is from five generations in a single year ago, and there’s no better way than doing that than a phone case to do with your favorite fandom!
12. The Flash Gone Vintage
We might really like the show on the CW, but before that, there were the comics where he was first introduced and told the story of how he became part of the Justice League. This cute little tee serves up the comic version of The Flash, running as fast as he can to attempt to leap off of your chest and into the world. It’s cool. He’ll be back before you know it. It’s a great piece of Flash merchandise!
13. What Time is it Mr. Flash?
I don’t know, Mrs. Flash. Why don’t you ask my badass new wrist watch? This watch is an official piece of The Flash merchandise. It comes in its own little red and yellow box, and just so you know, it might be the one watch you see in your life that makes you give up all other watches. That includes the one on your phone!
Lookin’ for a new timepiece but prefer Marvel? Check out these Captain America watches.
14. Give Your Couch a Flashy Makeover
What I’ve always wanted to do is buy a whole bunch of these superhero cushion covers and line them up on my couch. I could have some Star Wars pillow cases and then I could have some superheroes pillow cases and I could change with the seasons or… with whatever movie is coming out next so I’m all themed up. If you’re not like me and want something a little quieter, this Flash couch pillow would be a really nice, low-key addition to your living room.
15. Sock It To the Naysayers
I will literally fight anyone that says they don’t find cute, new socks an essential asset to a happy life. By fight, I do mean stand in the corner silently eating a taco and then bitching about it to myself later. That’s just the way geeks do it. It’s why we’re so lovable or something. There’s no limit to the fun types of socks you can get now and these Flash socks are no exception. I’d say they’ll make you run faster as well, but I don’t run so I have no basis for comparison. SORRY.