How old does one have to be to enjoy a bad pun? Only wondering. I know Steve Rogers was frozen for the better part of a lot of influential years, but he’s still got to be like 80-years-old on the inside.
The kind of Captain America watch we are, of course, talking about here is a literal one.
Many youths might not know or remember what a watch looks like, and so I’ll tell you what to tell them: Basically, they’re Apple watches without the Internet (and they make better accessories).
1. This Marvel Comics Captain America Watch, For Example
It’s a good place to begin. If Captain America weren’t so butch, I might have even quoted the Sound of Music. I fear he is not that kind of a geek-magnet, and so I’ll hold back. Plus, I’m pretty sure in this incarnation he was still cryogenically frozen at the time the movie was out. I forgive him. Leather straps are a classic look for a good watch. They go as well with suits as they do with t-shirts– heck, I bet even superhero compression shirts would benefit with a good leather strap. Fitbit couldn’t even.
2. The Second Look is the Equally Classic Silver
This one is a little different to some of the other watches we’re gonna be listing here in that the silver strap has a super Captain America-style royal blue stripe down the middle of it. Cap’s shield makes up the face of it, so I wouldn’t be all too surprised if you got lost admiring it when you look at the time. (That’s the numbers on the outside, smart watch users). Steve isn’t technologically minded enough to use anything other than a regular Captain America watch. I mean, unless he wants to end up on r/oldpeoplefacebook.
3. The Third Watch is Even Waterproof
I can see it now, Tony Stark explaining to Steve just what technology is and why computers can fit in the palm of your hand now. I have to say, Cap came a long way from knowing nothing to everything, and as long as Thor’s around, he’s always going to be more hip and current than at least one of the Avengers. But yeah, this watch is protected so you can drop it in the ocean like the old lady did at the end of Titanic, and it’d still be ticking until the battery died. You can try it if you like, but it’d be a waste of a watch.
4. And the Fourth Has Seconds Pointers On It
You know, for those of us who’ve forgotten how to tell the time. There was once a time — Steve Rogers will remember this well — when nobody had cell phones and everyone was wandering around without a watch. I like to call that Childhood. There was no sense of passing time. One second it was 1 PM and the next, it was getting dark and cold and the streetlights were coming on. If you wanted, might I suggest getting a watch and, before you start the battery, leave your phone at home and go out. Anywhere. The world’s not so bad, eh?
5. The Fifth is a Tribute to Captain America’s Origins
When a Captain America watch says it belongs to him, I think you’ll find that’s definitely his. Where else would you be able to buy the watch of a superhero at the price of anything under how much one of Tony’s suits is worth? See, it’s worth it. And it’s made of rubber so it’s protected from the people like me who drop valuable things more than they catch. Genuinely starting to think I need to start wrapping myself up in Star Wars pillow cases to avoid breaking anything I love.
6. BTW, Non-Smart Watches Also Come with Quartz
That’s a precious stone and just another thing that old school wrist watches have in their column that the newer school techno-ones. I know I said a lot about the iPad when it came out and then got one (I think the term was “a big version of a phone) BUT with the fact that niche watches like these Captain America ones and the Muppets one I had as a kid exist, why would you want to pay using your wrist??
7. The Seventh is Another That Features the Shield
It doesn’t have numbers on it technically, but for some reason to me, that makes it look even more classy. Telling time is like riding a bike, after all. You never forget. If there’s a guy standing at 2 o’clock reading his favorite Teen Titans, everyone that can will instantly know just where he’s standing. I’d like to see the same thing happen with, “There’s a girl reading a Tank Girl comic.” “Where?” “To your Instagram.” Watches are cool! Look how cool!
8. Eight Would Fit in if You Were Gonna BioShock Cosplay
Pocket watches haven’t been popular for even longer than regular watches. That’s a massive shame. Blazers and shirts only have pockets these days if they belong to a man, which means that clothing designers have literally just sewn them up because nobody uses pocket watches and/or squares anymore. Imagine how cool you’d be with this Captain America watch in your pocket. When somebody asks you the time, you pick it out and you tell ’em. If they were born after 2000, it’ll be a miracle to them.
9. Brown Leather and Comic Books Make Up Number Nine
Captain America is mostly pictured these days as the live action version. I fear that as more of the Avengers and Marvel movies come out, to those who don’t read the comics that could become a Thing. We’ve got to give a little love to the hand drawn Cap of the wartime era and beyond, and this watch does that so well. Brown leather is also as timeless (ha, timeless, a watch) as watches and Steve Rogers.
10. Time to Shine!
I could literally go on all night with clock puns. I’ll end it soon, just for you. The last Captain America watch on our list has a smaller face than the rest of them, but it’s a great everyday watch that’ll be perfect for school, work, or just hanging out with friends. It’s silver coated and shiny and the blue of Captain America looks so good when it catches the sun. As it will. Because you won’t want to stay in the house, not when you’re wearing this.