We’ve already taken an arrow to the knee to share some of our favorite Skyrim clothing with you, so we had to think about what other Skyrim gifts we could sacrifice the other for.
Eventually, we settled on Skyrim merchandise, mostly because the term is so broad and there is so much cool stuff out there.
To limit it would be a quest too difficult for even the Last Dragonborn, and I play my video games on easy.
1. Drink From this Mug While You Read the Elder Scrolls
You could drink from it while reading the morning’s newspaper, but nobody reads those anymore now we have smartphones and a Dovahkiin isn’t going to scroll through Apple news before sunrise. They have way too much to do, kind of like the majority of us in working, adult life. (Isn’t that why we’re geeks? To maintain some extent of our childhoods?) This Skyrim mug has Aldin’s wall etched onto it because there’s no way in hell he’d drink fiery chili juice from anything else. Don’t question how he breathes fire.
2. This Skyrim Clock Holds the Record for the Coolest Timepiece
Batman watches and Captain America watches aside, there’s this great trend of turning old vinyl into clocks like this. All I can think is it must take a skilled artist to actually create it, and someone with no qualms about cutting into a piece of recorded history. I couldn’t do it, and I don’t know if this is like wearing leather as a vegan, but I could definitely own this awesome piece of Skyrim merch and it would definitely be without guilt.
3. An 8-Bit Pixel Battle Has Never Looked So Intense
Can you imagine if Skyrim came out in the days where every video game looked like this? It would be so wild, and probably not as popular. Maybe even marginally like Golden Axe (which I don’t know if you guys ever played but it’s still one of my favorites of all time) or another game from the days when an open world was a pipe dream. (Not even kidding, I did have a dream about Goldeneye 64 being real and me driving cars. Turns out GTA already existed). Anyway, my money is on Alduin because the Dovahkiin has way more Skyrim merchandise dedicated to him.
4. Does This Tote Count as Skyrim Merch or Pokemon Merch?
Both, maybe? It’s Charizard as the Skyrim logo, so why not? A quick anecdote that’s kinda related: I stopped playing Pokemon Go for a really long time and picked it up again last month. What does this mean? This means I’d had Charmander as my buddy for a year except I hadn’t been playing a year so I had to collect 100 candy. I DID IT! I’VE GOT CHARIZARD. I kinda want to celebrate it with getting this Pokemon/Skyrim lunch tote, but then I’d have to carry a bag.
5. Learn Everything You Can About Skyrim ASAP
Who knows when you might need it, or Skyrim will come up as a topic at a pub quiz? This Skyrim book will teach you everything. You don’t even have to be a fan of only Skyrim; any fan of the Elder Scrolls series will find something to love in here. There are maps, races, in-depth histories, and lore, all complete with unique illustrations. Honestly, it’s so good that you could fool someone into believing that all of this actually happened. (Little do they know, it totes did).
6. Feel Free to Shower Behind Alduin’s Wall
I mean, you can drink from it, so why not? Ensure you get the best coverage in the shower by getting this Skyrim shower curtain. It’ll protect your modesty and it’ll keep your bathroom floor from getting wet (that is until you step out of it, but you can easily counter those rogue drips with a towel). Geeky household items are one of my favorite kinds of cool things out there. Who says our adult homes have to have wallpaper or be carpeted? Why can’t my future shoebox flat be plastered with Skyrim merchandise and Star Wars action figures? NO REASON. As a geek, you can do anything.
7. Every Adventurer Can Easily Lose Their Keys
The Ouroboros has been around for centuries; it’s been marked by many different civilizations over the years, why would it be any different this time? It’s a classic mark that’s now forever linked to the Elder Scrolls. Keep your keys safe on your next adventure by attaching them to a piece of Skyrim merchandise that has your best interests at heart. It’s small enough for me to even fit into my bra on nights out, meaning I’ll never lose them again. Bless you, dragons that like to eat themselves.
8. Plan Your Adventures On This Skyrim Map Poster
Stuck for where to go? You don’t need to be. Hang this over your desk or on your bedroom walls somewhere and you’ll always know exactly where you’re going. You won’t need GPS anymore. Not on your phone. Not when you take a vacation in the Province of Skyrim. You’ll actually know your way around like a local. The language isn’t hard to learn either. It’s just English with, “I took an arrow to the knee” used as much as we use “like”. You won’t regret getting this vital piece of Skyrim merch, I promise you that.
9. There’s a STATUE of Limitations to How Cool a Collectible Can Get
The nightingales exist for a reason and this statue does an extremely good job of paying homage to their existence. This will look so good on any kind of surface in any room or office. It’s bigger than most action figures at sixteen inches, so if you’re looking to make a statement that says, “HEY. I love Skyrim and you should too and if you don’t, I feel sorry for you”, then this is the Skyrim collectible for you. Well, this and the map. And the t-shirt up there. Basically everything on this list. I’m not very good at being biased.
10. Oh Yes, Here We Go! A New Way to Consume Your Wine
Tyrion Lannister would like this (as you’ll be able to see in some of the Game of Thrones merchandise we’ve got on DG), as would anybody that likes drinking from luxurious items! I keep making the joke that I need a tankard or a stein from which to drink my coffee and, I mean, I say “joke” when I really mean that I genuinely need one. This one is even cooler, it’s Skyrim inspired which makes it Skyrim merch by proxy and I’m obsessed with skulls as it is. CHEERS.
11. Skyrim is a Beautiful World, Your Walls Will Benefit From This
If a picture says a thousand words, this framed print of the familiar mountains and snow of our wildest Dragonborn adventures reads War and Peace out loud. There’s no denying how much video games have grown graphically over the last even ten years, and so knowing the game actually looks like this is one of the best things in the world.
Uhh, next to these Stranger Things pops, that is.
12. I Bet You’ve Never Seen a Mudcrab This Passive Before
Now’s the time to take this one home then, isn’t it? I don’t want to think about the bad things that happen when you run into them in-world. I much prefer thinking of them like this adorable Skyrim plush, whose last wish is to hurt anybody. He, like all of these Minecraft plush characters, just needs a little love in his life and who says you’re not the one to give him that??
13. Ever Told the Time on a Map? Start Now!
Tell the time whenever you want without having to drain your battery. If you’re an iPhone user who’s avoiding even picking up their phone, a watch is probably your best bet until they fix it and this Skyrim one isn’t that bad of an accessory if I do say so myself.
14. An (Elder) Scrolled Skyrim Poster, Your Majesty
There is something about a poster from a series called the Elder Scrolls, being scroll-style. Like, if games and movies had have been around then, this is how they would get their posters. It’s a fine piece of Skyrim merchandise and I’ll tell you what: if George slaying the dragon can be the root of England, the Dovahkiin slaying Alduin can be the root of you.
For more video game stuff, why not check out these Overwatch phone cases?