So, yesterday was a weird day in the geek lair. I decided I’d watch something on Amazon and, out of nowhere, an ad to play Minecraft NOW popped up.
That either happened or I’m imagining it, but either way, it set me back onto the Minecraft train.
Sit back and enjoy, Steve!
1. Enderman is Sad Because He Needs a Cuddle
Put aside your preconceived notions about the Minecraft world’s Slenderman and behold, the sad face of a creature who just wants to be loved. Maybe it’s all he’s ever wanted or maybe he’s just tired of being a pain in miners’ butts and has turned a new leaf, but as geeks, one thing we know is to never judge a book by its cover (or in the case of this Minecraft plush, its prior deeds). Everybody needs a little love sometimes.
2. Combat Your Arachnophobia!
Picture this big guy on your bed, waiting for you to get tired enough to enter your room again. See, fear of spiders is irrational, but it’s irrational enough that it inspired one of the Greatest Movies Of Our Time: Arachnophobia so it’s not a rare one. This spider from Minecraft plush is harmless, though if you have an obnoxious sibling or roommate who is afraid of them, you could use the fear as a positive…
3. Get an Iron Golem to Protect Your Village
They’re good at that, as you know. It’s time you had one for yourself. As a Minecraft fan who might be private and a little protective over the stuff you own, what better than to guard your bedroom than a grand (fluffy??) Iron Golem. You’ve been on the receiving end of their attacks, but you’ve never lived until you’ve been protected by one of these guys. With this Minecraft plush, you are now, as they say, free as a… chicken…bird… thing.
4. This Minecraft Sheep Body Pillow is EVERYTHING
Never sleep alone again! Not when you have this sheep body pillow to spoon! Why would anybody sleep on their own when they could have this fluffy Minecraft plush in their arms? Created purely to satisfy our needs and give us comfort at our most vulnerable times, even Frank Sinatra wouldn’t have a few more regrets from owning this adorable little guy. He won’t protect you from baddies or snoops like the Golem, but he sure is adorable.
5. Ready to Play Chicken?
Don’t you love that playing chicken means you’re bold but, if you’re a wimp, you’re called a chicken? I wish people would make up their minds. Chickens are essential to a Minecraft survival. They provide eggs, feathers… their bodies to eat so we don’t go hungry. (Survival of the fittest???) Pay it back to all of the chickens you’ve used to make yourself feel better by getting this Minecraft plush to cuddle with and beg for forgiveness.
6. A Minecraft Plush to Make You Aghast!
You know these guys are an annoying enemy to encounter when all you want to do is have an easy ride of it (you trained on chickens, chickens do not throw fireballs at you), but if you make friends with them on the outside world, they’re really not all that bad. They, like you, are just doing what they know how to do, and if that requires burning a few miners, so be it. At least you get gunpowder outta them.
7. Dammit, Steve, I’m a Scientist Not a Miner
Not to quote Bones (as referenced on an amazing geeky t-shirt in our Star Trek shirts article), but really, Steve is our Minecraft avatar and so we have to like him. Because he’s us. (Or Alex is us and there’s an Alex plush as well, but mostly, I just like to say “DAMMIT STEVE”). Steve is a funny name. No offense to the Steves out there, own it with pride!
8. Recreate Babe With Your Baby Pig Plush
He’s so cute, you might not be able to leave him on his own for too long in case he gets into shenanigans with other farm animals. Everybody needs a baby pig in their lives. This crosses over into Minecraft, where they can supply you with true love and lots of cuddles. There’ll be no hunting these babies, they don’t drop anything and by the time they’re old enough to, the bond will be too strong that even Daryl Dixon wouldn’t be able to hunt them.
9. Behold: The Mooshroom
Mooshrooms are so chilled out, Snorlax can walk faster and further than them in the ten days it takes to get to the bathroom. They’re a special kind of cow that can only spawn on a mushroom biome. They are so special, they won’t mix with other cows, and especially won’t fall in love with them, so every baby they have will be another Mooshroom and, because of them, if you have wheat, you’ll never be alone. Not even in bed. Not with this Mooshroom Minecraft plush.