It seems like only yesterday I was reliving the saddest Buffy the Vampire Slayer moments this past spring…
Time passes, as it’s wont to do, and winter is indeed coming. However, that also means Christmas is, and if there’s anything to ease the pain of the cold, it’s Christmas!
And, we’ve got just the right Game of Thrones Christmas sweater for you!
1. Santa Claus is the Rightful Occupant of the Candy Cane ThroneSource: Amazon
While Cersei sits on a throne of lies and Dany has her rightful place with the iron throne, Santa is more than happy to chill out on his throne made of candy canes. He's fat because he can literally eat his chair and he doesn't have to leave the house for 364 days (365 on Leap Years). You have to envy him a little. Every movie or TV show he's appeared in over the years has paid for his plush lifestyle, so he just gets his elves to work for him. (Wouldn't Tyrion make a badass Christmas elf?)
Get this Santa on the candy cane throne sweater on amazon.com
2. Christmas Coming Doesn’t HAVE to Mean Winter Is!Source: Amazon
Think about it, it's not just the Northern Hemisphere that experiences Christmas. Geeks in places like Australia and New Zealand will have a warm -- sometimes even red-hot -- Christmas. It kind of makes you mad enough to slam the buttons on your Xbox controller super hard so your character hits harder, doesn't it? Still, geeks from all over the world can revel in the joy of an ugly Game of Thrones Christmas sweater or two, especially if they're lightweight like this one.
Get the Christmas is Coming sweater on amazon.com
3. I Wish There Was a Game of Thrones Christmas Sweater For Every CarolSource: Amazon
There almost is, but I want more! O Holy Night is dark and full of terrors! Have a Holly Joffrey Christmas! Alright, you're right, I need to work on those ideas but there are so many possibilities that you kind of end up getting carried away. The white walkers are some of my favorites to the point of my character on one of my favorite video games having a white walker skin. (Paladins, geeklets. Try if you haven't yet!) And doesn't the Night King look just divine in this Game of Thones sweater?
Get this brilliant White Walker Christmas sweatshirt on amazon.com
4. If Hodor Was Santa, His Name Would be HochimneySource: Amazon
I'm not even going to ask if you get it because of course, you do and of course you're groaning. Ho ho Hodor is a joy to beho-ho-hold and if you wear this Game of Thrones Christmas sweater to work, your fellow colleagues who are also Game of Thrones fans will be gagging on their jealousy flavored candy canes. Since Hodor is Game of Thrones Barb from Stranger Things (by the way, these Stranger Things pops would make for amazing gifts this Christmas) this is probably the most inside joke of the lot.
Get this Hodor ugly Christmas sweater on amazon.com
5. Sansa Needs to Hurry Down the Hochimney TonightSource: Amazon
She also needs to bring Brienne along because there is a distinct lack of Brienne of Stark sweaters at all, let alone Game of Thrones Christmas sweaters. Somebody fix this so I can add it in with gold lining and a star buy. And also have it for me. Sansa Stark, I guess, is the one who's responsible for all the Christmas shenanigans these days. Her parents certainly can't do it and Jon Snow is a little busy, uh, with his aunt, so it comes down to her and Bran. Good thing is, Christmastime is the only time she smiles.
Get this funny Sansa Stark Christmas sweater on amazon.com
6. Arya Feeling Christmassy Yet?Source: Amazon
Let's try and ignore the fact she's decapitated Santa and concentrate on the fact that if you're on her Naughty List, there's no way you'll be getting any Star Wars action figures as gifts this Christmas. I am, however, happy to mention that her naughty list is getting smaller and smaller due to the killings she and Needle continue to engage in and so you're probably not on it and you can get all of the Star Wars or Predator action figures your geeky little heart desires.
Get the Arya Stark ugly Christmas sweater on amazon.com
7. Hatchy Holidays! I Hear Dragon Eggnog is Delicious…Source: Amazon
I don't really know the correct protocol for acquiring dragon eggs to consume in the name of Christmas, but I'd imagine that Daenerys might have something to say about it? This Game of Thrones Christmas sweater that will perplex and amuse anybody that sees it, and when the Game of Thrones fans realize what's wrapped up on the front of your sweater, they'll feel so much happier within themselves. (And then you can direct them here, yay!) I'm also not a fan of eggnog, but I could sure go for a dragon eggnog latte right about now.
Get this dragon eggs Christmas sweater on amazon.com
8. Thanks for the Reminder, Dany (This is Sarcasm)Source: Amazon
Oy vey. She's always so serious, isn't she? It's fine, though, since she's seemingly attended the Lannister school of incest as of late, she gets to be. This Game of Thrones Christmas sweater is a really cool accompaniment to the Christmas is coming one featured earlier on in the article. You could even get matching sweaters for you and your best friend, sibling, or other half. Maybe all three at the same time if you're like Daenerys, Jaime, and Cersei...
Get this Daenerys Targaryen Christmas sweater on amazon.com
9. I Feel Like We Have No Choice But to Let it Snow, Jon…Source: Amazon
The weather outside is frightful, but Stark Christmasses hosted by Sansa are delightful. One day, eventually, there's a chance Jon and Arya will come back to Winterfell to join in the celebrations. As to whether Sansa would be up for that or not since she's the one who's been slaving in the kitchen in her Pikachu apron while they run around killing people and dying/being resurrected is a whole other thing entirely.
Get this funny Jon Snow Christmas sweater on amazon.com