When I say your nightmares, I do mean yours, because every dream I’ve ever had about Freddy has always involved me being happy to see him.
Honestly, I think that’s why he doesn’t visit anymore. YOU DON’T CALL, FREDDY. YOU DON’T WRITE.
Horror flicks are their own brand of geek. Particularly those from the 80s like Childsplay, Hellraiser, and others that partially inspired Stranger Things. And Freddy is the king of them all. He deserved his own article.
So, without further ado, here are some excellent Freddy Krueger sweaters just for you!
1. One, Two, Freddy Krueger Sweaters are Coming For You…Source: Amazon
Costume Freddy Krueger sweaters and otherwise, we'll kick things off with one of my favorite versions of The Freddy. Riddled with bullet holes or is it burn holes or is it, "I ran into Leatherface in the street before I turned up here and he got a little chainsaw happy. Say, did you see which way Johnny Depp went?"? Because there are a few different options though, it's hard to say which I like the most, because you can't really dress up for Halloween in all of them. I hear that's what compromise is but maybe I can just layer them all on top of each other and be Freddy Krueger after too many Christmas dreamers.
Get the distressed Freddy Kruger costume sweater on amazon.com
2. Three, Four, You Don’t Wear T-Shirts AnymoreSource: Amazon
While technically this isn't a sweater, the design makes it closer to one than not and maybe Freddy gets too hot in summer and has to downsize from ruined cashmere. You don't know. Not unless you ask him. I included this mostly because I really like the detail around the sleeves and the fact it doesn't have holes means I can wear it to formal interviews for Super Serious Adult Stuff and I'll appear smart-cahj. (Ha. Funny. Formal interviews. I write about video games and Stranger Things Pops. My job is freakin' awesome).
Get this long-sleeved Freddy Krueger sweater tee on amazon.com
3. Five, Six, We Have a Great MixSource: Amazon
I dig the material on this (she says like she's ever seen an episode of Project Runway), it looks as soft as it does warm and I get that Freddy Krueger sweaters are supposed to be dirty and optionally covered in blood, sitting on the metro is kinda difficult when there's too much fake blood spatter. I'm just saying. This sweater gives you the tattered "been around the block playing Cat and Mouse with Jason" look without it making you stand out too much while also making sure you stand the frick out.
Get this tattered Freddy Krueger sweater on amazon.com
4. Seven, Eight, Where Horror Movies are Concerned it’s Always Too LateSource: TeePublic
On this Freddy Krueger sweater, the Dark Lord of our Nightmares gives us some advice to advance our lives. A quote from his newest YouTube-hosted online workshop (he's working on a TED Talk as we speak, but he hasn't realized what we did just now and hasn't cleaned up the blood) and soon-to-be online Yale course, taught directly to him by Tim Curry...
Get the dream big Freddy Krueger sweater on teepublic.com
5. Nine, Ten, We’ve Run Out of Numbers and Must Do it AgainSource: TeePublic
Freddy is perfect. He's beautiful. He looks like Linda Evangelista. He's a model... and he knows it. This photograph is an outtake from his last session for French Vogue, French because Anna Wintour told him he'd have to change to be on the cover of American and Vogue because Pinhead has the avant-garde Bjorkish i-D style covered and Michael Myers has been adopted by Interview. How could anyone say no to that smile? There's a reason Patricia Arquette did Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and it sure isn't the plot.
Get this Freddy Krueger sweatshirt on teepublic.com
6. Yeah, We’re Out of Numbers and Freddy Hasn’t Got Us YetSource: Amazon
L.A. Noire (which has been re-released, if my podcasts are anything to go by? Great game if not too slow for a shoot-em-and-run gamer like moi) eat your beautiful, golden age of Hollywood Maltese Falconesque heart out, and you, too, Sin City. Freddy Krueger has gone noir and I am all for it. I can actually picture an overlay of rain and Freddy just standing there saying that neither The Spirit nor Sin City 2 happened. Because they didn't.
Get this B&W Freddy Krueger sweater on amazon.com
7. But Then Again… I Haven’t Been to Sleep Yet, Have You?Source: Amazon
I mean, I have but it was five coffees and two hours ago by now. (And still, Freddy hasn't called). I saved this Freddy Krueger sweater for last 'cause it is the Ultimate Freddy Krueger sweater. No shade to the other costume ones, but if you're gonna go all out next Halloween (or just randomly when you go and buy groceries, for funsies) this is the one you need to have. The burnt flesh sections are all part of the actual sweater, and this entire outfit will totally help you attract a mate. Or scare everyone within a 2-mile radius of yourself, but one man's trash is another man's blood-soaked, raggy treasure.
Get the Freddy Krueger Halloween costume sweater WITH BURNS on amazon.com
Fan of classic films? Wish you could watch Alien for the first time again? Samesies. Check out these Gremlin toys, Predator action figures, Jurassic Park toys, Ghostbusters mugs, and/or Transformer toys.
Because 80s movies are freakin’ awesome.