In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.
Crazy to think that’s how Tolkien’s Middle Earth began: with a tiny hobbit in a tiny house in a tiny place.
From there — with the help of the films — we were thrust into Middle Earth, rings blazing.
You can’t deny the impact the franchise had on geeks. That’s why it’s only fair we feature some Lord of the Rings shirts. For your ring-bearing pleasure.
1. Mon Dessin Numéro 1: Le Petit Hobbit
Talk about a combination that appeals to my personal senses. Le Petit Prince is one of my favorite stories, and whoever thought to mix it with Bilbo Baggins on top of Middle Earth gets my entire, floor-bowing worship. This is such a cute design that, while it’s pretty exclusively aimed at Little Prince obsessives such as myself, for people like us, it’s one of the best Lord of the Rings shirts we could ever wish existed.
2. Who’ll Win the Big Fight?
My money is on Gandalf rather than Sauron. I know that Sauron has taken over a large part of the entire world, but Gandalf is a wizard that only became more powerful as the story went on. More than that, he did so by supporting others rather than himself, and he sacrificed himself for those others, which takes a hell of a lot stronger a person to do than being a big eye that wants a ring does. K.O., to be honest. Gandalf is the Victor! Whoever you support, this tank top is a brilliantly funny little Lord of the Rings shirt.
3. Sauron’s Unknown Pleasure…
It kind of proves my theory that a lot of us geeks are also music geeks, and if nothing else, that what music we do listen to is of good taste. There’s a ton of geeky shirts and gifts that revolve around this album cover in particular, which is a pretty amazing album. In passing, people might even mistake it for a straight up Joy Division shirt. Then they’ll see Barad-dûr and either get slightly nervous or geek out. Win/win, if you ask me.
4. Join the Adventure in Lord of the Rings Shirts
I’ve always thought it would be incredibly fun to wake up one day and have life be the adventure it is. Or, like, have life be a video game which can sometimes be even cooler than an actual adventure. I’d say it’s because you have to get dressed to go outside, but who made the rule we can’t leave in pajamas? Not I, geeklets. Not I. Bilbo never had to worry about choosing whether to go on the adventure with Thorin and Gandalf. It sorta just happened. It’s the choice that’s the greatest adventure. Luckily I can help you out by saying that this Lord of the Rings shirt right here is always the choice you should make.
5. I’m Telling You, Gandalf is the OG
When he saved the entire Fellowship from their inevitable demise, risking his own life, he might as well have been inducted into the martyr’s hall of fame. If that doesn’t exist, it should. You can don this Lord of the Rings shirt if you’re maybe a bouncer or security, just for the sheets and the gaggles or if you’re just a simple introverted Gandalf fan. I mean, same.
6. Brave Sir Frodo-had
If you read our Skyrim clothing article and enjoyed the Monty Python inspired t-shirt, boy-oh-buoy do we have a treat for you. You are ni-deep in the Meta when you get to mixing the Pythons with something geeky and this Lord of the Rings shirt does not disappoint. Join Frodo and Sam on their quest for the Holy Grail, coconut horses and all. I genuinely feel like if they’d done this, Gollum would’ve gotten bored and gone back home to his cave. Ring or no ring.
7. Feel Feelings in This Tree of Gondor Shirt
The tree of Gondor was so beautiful to see on screen. I saw the movie in theaters when it was out and there was something particularly magical about seeing it for real when the battles were getting closer and closer to the castle. A beautiful, white tree in the middle of a beautiful, white town that was close to being stained with the blood of men, children, and sometimes even women. This Lord of the Rings shirt is a light nod to the stories, but a nod nonetheless.
8. We Wants a Whopper and a Side of Onion Rings
We wants it now. And we wants this t-shirt as Gollum might as well be the mascot here at DGHQ. We see cool things, and we wants them, and because there’s a team of us, when I say we, it does kinda seem like I’m speaking about myself as a plural. Granted, sometimes I have voices in my head, but a lot of the time they’re just telling me to kill Navi. Nothing too crazy!!
9. Sauron’s CCTV System is Way Too Advanced
Seriously, can you imagine anybody stealing anything if he actually was on watch over our world now? They don’t know how good they had it. Sauron could have told somebody who killed their relative because he literally can see everything. And sure, okay. Yeah. He’s a Dictator and a giant eyeball for the most part, but sometimes you gotta weigh the pros and the cons…
10. Precious, PRECIOUS Lord of the Rings Shirt
I don’t remember the second line of the actual statement there, but I sense I wouldn’t entirely be able to make a play on words about it that sums up how awesome this t-shirt is. That is, unless, it was a ringer tee which I feel is pretty much a missed opportunity as far as terrible ideas go. This shirt is something I can see a lot of Lord of the Rings fans being happy with, my badass uncle included!
11. Bilbo and Gandalf had a Fallout
Oh ho, that’s bad, but this design is wonderful. The start of Fallout wouldn’t have been Fallout if it wasn’t based when it was, but if it were to have happened on Middle Earth, I can one thousand percent foresee Bilbo being the poster Pip boy for that shelter. Where in Middle Earth do you think the vault would be, though? I’m thinking Rivendell, just to annoy the elves, but that’s just me and my desire to meet Galadriel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Check out these cute Fallout Bobbleheads while you’re here!
12. The Geekiest Lord of the Rings Shirt Goes To…
A Lord of the Rings t-shirt that has the entire map of Middle Earth all OVER YOUR BODY. And yes, geeklets, I did say that like Oprah as best I could, though it doesn’t translate too much to text and I can’t decide who’s more excitable between her and Tyra. But anyway, I have a feeling if you bought this shirt for a Tolkien fanboy (or girl), you’d be their favorite person at least until Christmas.