Praise be, for ’tis on this day (and every day) that we celebrate the mystical, magical, very rarely angry unicorns the Discovery Channel has seemingly forgotten.
The unicorn is a mythic beast; one so beautiful and oblique that its kind has had to run for the hills of Candy Mountain (Charlie). Literally, just to avoid being taken advantage of by human beings that, understandably, are obsessed with them. (And there’s also maybe candy there).
We can’t help ourselves, but we should probably leave the actual wild unicorns alone. That’s why we at DGHQ are determined to bring all the cool, unique unicorn stuff out there, straight to your attention!
Sit back and check out these 12 unicorn mugs you’re really gonna want in your kitchen.
1. Don’t Stir the Pot, Stir Your Coffee with your Magic Wand… Stirrer
Be a unicorn while you drink from one with your own rainbow, unicorn shaped mug. It comes with an adorable box for gifts and storage — though, fellow coffee connoisseurs might roll their eyes at that idea — and a magic wand that can turn your drink into unicorn poop. (I’m kidding on the poop bit but I hear it’s pretty good for your skin if you’re into that). There’s a lot of unicorn mugs out there that have a horn like this one does but do those unicorn mugs have horns that are created using the gold from the Lonely Mountain, literally stolen from under the nose of Smaug… maybe.
2. There’s No Better Way to Tell Your Friends How You Feel than with a Unicorn
As well as being unicorn-obsessed, your regular everyday Joe or Joan is gonna be coffee-obsessed too. Discover Geek has a lot of markets covered here when it comes to geeky coffee mugs and let me tell you, there are so many more where those came from! Maybe your other half likes comics and so you got them a Batman coffee mug and maybe you want a mug that’s yours just the same, and unicorns are your bag (or if we’re being literal: mug). Gift givers, with this mug, let your recipient know how you really feel. (This comes in especially handy in tempting that other have to make you a drink, meaning you won’t have to get up off your seat).
3. Unicorns are Never Tested Before Their Olympics, They’re Too Pure
And yes, they have Olympics. Thanks to Zeus and equality, we all do. This guy specializes in track and field and is everybody’s sporting, unicorn hero. Ask them about it! You’ll see. His name is Jim and he’s the hammer throw champion of the last eight years. Everybody knows Jim. We could liken him in our world, to the Rock or to the guy who used to be in that one boy band and isn’t Justin Timberlake, and so it’s a given there are mugs with his name (and picture) on them. What kind of marketing and merchandise teams would he have running his store if there wasn’t?
4. Shit’s About to Get Real, So You Might as well Have One Final Coffee from your Unicorn Mug
Tea, if you’d prefer it. I’ll let you off with it because usually, the only people that drink tea are the sick, the hipsters, or the Doomsday preppers that store away the bags until the apocalypse hits. It might not be that time yet (God knows we’ve survived a few Raptures by now, with the help of our Walking Dead merchandise) but it’s always good to have what other people are going to need. Me, I’ll be the tampon and sanitary napkin dealer. Bring me your tinned peaches, it’s trading time!
5. With a Little Heat, You’ll See Magic is Real
The pony things say friendship is magic and, while a valid point, as I’m running out of coffee, I disagree. Coffee is magic, and that’s why the combination of unicorns and mugs is one that should have happened years ago. Drinking from the fountain of magic while also upping your caffeine intake for the day (or if you’re like me, half hour)? Sign me up please, lest I turn into a unicorn barfing rainbows all over your face. It is of the utmost importance I have this heat changing unicorn mug. So utmost, it ought to be pronounced upmost.
6. Brb, Feeding My Unicorn, I’ll Be Back When You’ve Gone
If you are lucky enough to own a unicorn — I should say cohabit with or they’ll get cross — you’re going to have to feed them. “What do they eat?” You ask? It’s a good question and the answer varies, depending on each individual unicorns taste. Some like hay, others like sushi. All, however, imbibe coffee. (“Does that make us unicorns?” you’re asking now. Yes, it does. Let’s raise a glass to us, fellow unicorns.) Tell everybody exactly where you are when you drink from this. They’ll never bother you again until next week.
7. Did You Ever Wonder What Sprinkles Were Made Out Of?
We’re here to tell you with the use of the legend on this super handy, funny, adorable– wait, unicorn pits??? I mean, if doughnuts weren’t so tasty, I might actually be on the way to consider never having one with sprinkles again. Oh, God. They’re on ice cream as well, aren’t they? Well, there’s me gone, consider me a consumer of shaved, unicorn pit hair, pretty much because I’d rather have that than not have doughnuts. …maybe the design on this unicorn mug is just to keep us away from the doughnuts so that the artist can have all of them? I doubt we’ll ever find out, but if we put this next to the box of doughnuts at work, we’ll be able to do the same thing.
8. Alternatively, You Could Put them Beside this 3D Unicorn Mug…
Then people wouldn’t even think of touching the doughnuts, they’d be so in awe of this grand, majestic creation. See, we trust Think Geek with our fandom-loving lives. They’re smart geeks like us that supply cool geeky gifts and, in turn, we get to see and own those same cool, geeky gifts that are hard to find unless you know exactly what it is you’re looking for. This unicorn is the most majestic of them all, and it comes with a rainbow too, the only combination that beats that is the aforementioned unicorns and coffee. Or aliens and anything. Aliens and unicorns would blow my mind. Anyhow, we’ve never seen anything like this mug and I’m weeping rainbow tears of desire right now. Catch them in your clearly less cool than a unicorn mug-mug.
9. Hooves Up, Geeklets, This Rainbow Unicorn Amazingness is too Good but Also True
This unicorn actually has a look of David Bowie about her. If her hair wasn’t rainbow — we could never argue rainbow, come on — and instead was red and blue, she’d be her own version of the Aladdin Sane album cover, which can only mean I’m brutally in love with her and want to drink every single coffee I have to drink in the future, from her. Do you think she’ll let me? She’s so cute, she might be out of my league, but not out of yours. What do you say? Are you ready to annoy people even more by having the sweetest mug going that doesn’t have sugar around the rim? I know I am.
10. This Mug Will Make You Happier than a Unicorn Eating Cake
This cake has sprinkles on it, right? Does that count as self-cannibalism? Doesn’t matter, we all love cake the way we all love coffee and unicorns, and so we can’t really blame it for eating cake when the cake is there just for its noms. If you’re a happy person or one of your friends or family is, and you’re more of a goth kind of unicorn (we’re talking Marilyn Manson and black hoof polish), this mug was made just for you or just for them. Unicorns don’t hang around, not when there’s cake to be had!
11. Elwood has Come Back For a Visit!
Elwood the Unicorn mug has visited us before, and we loved him so much we told him he really should just keep coming back as much as he wants to hang out. Elwood is handmade and because of that, is the most unique unicorn mug (uniqu..orn?) you’re going to find online or off! Elwood has a lot of interests and hobbies, but you can find those on his Tinderbell profile, they’re of no interest to us at this moment. What is, is that his favorite hobby of all is supplying us with coffee, tea, or cocoa full of cream and marshmallows. Superb. We love you, Elwood!
12. This Adorable Hand-Painted Anime Unicorn Might Give El a Run for his Money, Though…
How cute is it? Pay no attention to the men behind the keyboards unless they’re me and I’m no man (I’m a mouse, duh). I’ve got a couple of Winnie the Pooh mugs at home that I bought years ago which are this size and shape, and they’ve always been some of my favorites to have drinks out of. They hold a lot of liquid, and I’m sure as we know by now, I drink a lot of coffee, so smaller mugs really do nothing for me if I’m feeling too lazy to constantly refill them. This makes this unicorn mug perfect for me and for you if you’re anything like me. (God bless you).