I can’t promise you they’ll make you play better, but I can say there’s never harm in trying when there are Overwatch shirts as funny/brilliant as these for the taking.
Literally, for the taking! You won’t even have to contest it, there’s enough variety for everyone, whoever you main!
If you loved our Overwatch phone cases article, you’re gonna love this too.
Buckle up, soldiers!
1. Join Hanzo on Cloud Nine
Take your pick over which cloud that is. This is ideal for any Hanzo main. I know you’re out there and I know that if I ran into you in real life, I would scold you for doing your job at being a royal pain in my front-lined butt. (Those words in that order just look wrong…) SO, as I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself with a terribly-worded joke, Hanzo mains, this Overwatch shirt pays tribute to his cloud skin which is arguably one of his finest.
2. Zenyatta Literally Doesn’t Give a Crap
For somebody so Zen, you wouldn’t picture a guy like Zenyatta to lose his cool enough to flip not just one bird, but two. On this Overwatch shirt, he’s been caught red-handed. Not all monks are zen all of the time, see. Even if Zen is legitimately in their name. This, my friends and geeks, is a case that we can all relate to. Pretending to be someone we’re not. I mean, isn’t that why we’re gamers? Like, besides to vent our frustrations without doing what Zenyatta is doing here? Yep!
3. Need Healing? Wear this Mercy Overwatch Shirt!
I’m not saying that the mere act of wearing this will fix all cuts and bruises, nor will it happen faster if you keep screaming that you need healing. Because trust me, a good healer like Mercy is always doing her best to keep you alive as best she can. There’s no merit in avoiding doing one’s job capturing the point, after all! This cute tee can also double as being a passive aggressive note to anybody that annoys you. It might be particularly funny if you’re, like, a school nurse. Just sayin’…
4. Hanzo is a Dire Wolf, He Just Hasn’t Told You
In his spare time, Hanzo is an avid reader and watcher of the Game of Thrones series. He gets to mop his battle wounds by dressing up as Jon Snow and one drunken vodka night with Zarya, he mentioned how funny it would be if he recreated the age-old mid-western favorite: the Three Wolf Moon shirt. It was funny at the time. At least it made for a good shirt? In retrospect, a lot of the decisions the heroes make would probably make for good Overwatch shirts.
5. Mama Reaper is Serving Up Some Fine Cherry Pie
Not to be confused with fine cherry Pi gifts, but feel free to have a wander over there for all the numeric goodness DGHQ has to offer. This Overwatch shirt design is an in-joke for Overwatch fans that it took me a second to get because I’m slow like that and fast in other places. Replace the Reaper’s “die die die” with “pie pie pie” and, obviously, you get a much better attack to be on the receiving end of.
Plus, how cute does he look in his lil outfit?
While you do that, I’ma spend time with some pie. Do the same as me with this Twin Peaks merchandise!
6. What Happens When Hanzo & Genji Go to a Rave
THIS OVERWATCH SHIRT HAPPENS IS WHAT HAPPENS. Ever the secret entrepreneur, this idea came to Hanzo when he’d been out all night doing what he shouldn’t be: dancing. It’s hard to dance with a quiver on your back and a wolf headdress, but it’s the taking part that really matters. So he thought, hey Sparrow, wouldn’t it be cool if we were made of glow sticks? (That club was sure serving up something strange, and dancing with a katana ain’t much better). To which Genji said, “I am ready.”
7. Get Genji’s Armor as a Comfortable Overwatch Shirt
I bet he wishes he had this when they went to the aforementioned club, hey? Compression tops come in useful, particularly during this time of year when it’s about to start getting cooler and you still want to keep up your walking/running/Pokemon Going without having to wear a pesky jacket.
8. It’s a Perfect Day for Some Junkrat
The Junkrat action figure we featured in our Overwatch gifts article might be one of the coolest statues we’ve seen as far as gaming gifts go. It’s only fair he gets a decent amount of representation in these Overwatch shirts, as well. Junkrat is one of those dudes that you either love or hate, but if you love him, you love him so much you’ve probably got your bedroom or office walls lined with wallpaper of him.
If not, I defer once again to our good friend Jennifer Love Hewitt:
9. The Widowmaker’s Goals Are Clear
She’s never hidden them from anyone, and why should she? Her name is the Widowmaker for a reason and it’s not because she made an accidental typo setting up her window business. The French aren’t known for beating around any bushes, and the Widowmaker subscribes to just that. It’s fine though. As long as you don’t try to marry her or aren’t on the opposing team, you’ll be fiiiiine.
If not, try wearing this Overwatch shirt and see what your chances are? Maybe?
10. A Stairway to Mercy
Trust Angela Ziegler, she’s a medical doctor, and this design is an Overwatch shirt that mixes up her and Led Zeppelin. Kinda makes sense when you think about her wings and the angel. This cute take on the best known Zeppelin logo is a great gift for geeks who also love music. (In the words of Tobias Funke from Arrested Development: THERE ARE DOZENS OF US). Surprise the Overwatch and music lover in your life. They won’t even care that it’s not a Hanzo t-shirt.
11. How Do Y’all Like Your Whiskey?
I think we can agree (or… McCree) that vigilante cowboys and Bourbon go together like Rick and Morty or Navi and “HEY! LISTEN!” (Ugh, Navi). This Overwatch tee is a nice callback to the gunslinger in all of our — except for Stephen King’s for obvious reasons — hearts. McCree can generally be found being a badass, walking like John Wayne or drinking at whatever saloon he can find. There’s nothing stopping you from doing that too, Pardner.
12. Lastly, A Fancy Overwatch Logo Tank Top You Can Wear for Anything
I’m not kidding. A top like this is so diverse that it can be worn smart-cahj (casual for short, I genuinely have no idea how it’s spelled) or just bumming around the house as you’re playing Overwatch with a beer or a coke at one in the morning. It’s a great little Overwatch shirt that would look amazing in your wardrobe and on you. Next time you have to capture the payload in real life, hesitate no more. Wear this tank top and all will be done.
Of course, you’ll have to actually have a payload first.