11 FNaF Plushies So Awesome They’ll Haunt Your Dreams Forever

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Great video games are the ones that step out of the box.

Limbo could have failed hardcore if it wasn’t so good, the 8-bit Stranger Things game that was released in conjunction with Season 2 could have gone the same way.

There are a lot of games that don’t see the light of day, so when one comes out of left field and takes the entire gamer base by storm: We LOVE it.

Five Nights at Freddy’s did just that and Funko—because they’re Funkin’ awesome—released a whole host of killer FNaF plushies you can take home to mommy.

We do mean literally killer, though.

1. The Nightmares You Always Had as a Kid Are Real

FNaF plushies Freddy plushSource: Amazon

Sorry to break that to you at the beginning of a new week towards the beginning of a new year. Your toys came to life during the night when you were a kid and, as Five Nights at Freddy's shows (and the barrage of FNaF plushies that's about to commence), it doesn't stop once you hit adolescence. Animatronic stuffed toys and dolls that will literally eat your heart as quoted by Adam Sandler in Little Nicky were an untapped market of horror until Freddy. Now you're aware, you'll never forget.

Get the Nightmare Freddie plush on amazon.com

2. How Weird is it to Find These FNaF Plushies Super Cute?

Marionette FNaF plushSource: Amazon

To that, I ask, "How cute is it to find these FNaF plushies weird?" This Marionette plush is particularly adorable. When you factor in the horrifyingly genius source material for the puppet, does it not look at least a little cute? Having this guy means that, for once, you won't have to keep any music going to keep him from killing you. As a plush figure, his inanimate presence is literally the most comforting thing in the world. Why would you deny yourself that company?

Get this Nightmare Marionette plush on amazon.com

3. You’ll Never Lose Your Keys With a Plush Attached

Mini Five Nights at Freddys plush keychainsSource: Entertainment Earth

I'd say unless you're me but I've told the story before and, to be honest, it's still more painful than working the night shift at Freddy's without a Freddy mask. Here you can get three key chains for the price of one, so as long as you get a key for each, it'll hardly matter if you do lose them. Which you won't. Because you'll hold on to these babies for your life lest you want a bunch of tiny little toys running around stabbing people with pins... or even if you do.

Get three random mini FNaF plush keychains on entertainmentearth.com

4. For Fox Sake, Can I Please Have Five of These?

FNaF Foxy plushieSource: Amazon

Foxy the pirate is one of the characters you can't chase away by masking yourself as Freddy. He's too smart for that. Too knowing. It's almost like he has an actual brain inside of his 8TB RAM. He doesn't. At least, he won't until he eats yours and takes it on as being his own, but why would he do that when he's not the one that took a job at Freddy's? He has Crash Bandicoot vibes. If Crash Bandicoot had been seduced by his own psychopathy...

Get this Foxy plush on amazon.com

5. Freddy is Actually the Puppet Master

Funtime Freddy FNaF plushSource: Amazon

Not to be confused with being the master of the puppet, this Funtime Freddy FNaF plushie is one of the nicest ones out there. Nice as in looks, not temperament, given that most of the characters in the series have a tendency to murder and destroy. Still, there are some situations when you have to take what you can get and then run with it. Away. Run away. Far. But take this with you because he's cute and I promise you, if he kills you, I'll give you your money back. OH wait, you're dead.

Get the funtime Freddy plush on amazon.com

6. Give Your Valentine a Basket of Exotic Butters

FNaF plushies exotic butterSource: Amazon

Flowers die, chocolates go on sale less than an hour into the 15th, and Butters (especially exotic ones and the one featured on a few South Park shirts) are forever. Or, you know, at least have more uses than flowers before they expire. If you get the good ending, no matter what gift you want, you're gonna get butter, and if that's not some kind of artistic metaphor for Valentine's Day, I legitimately don't know what is.

Get this exotic butters plush on amazon.com

7. Bonnet is the True Color of Our Souls

exclusive FNaF plush BonnetSource: Amazon

Fight it as much as you wish, we all have a pink lover inside of us and it's generally in this shade. It's all right. We won't tell. The demon animatronics might have something to say about it, but they're all lusting after blood. Or searching for their revenge, depending on which theory you subscribe to. (Mine is the latter, because of reasons I'll tell you in a future Five Nights at Freddy's merchandise article). Don't you think she's cute behind those cold, soulless eyes?

Get this Bonnet plush on amazon.com

8. The Rarest of the Rare, the Better the Bear

rare FNaF plushies FoxySource: Amazon

This collectible, limited edition Foxy is every bit as rare as a good steak. Rarer, considering all you need for one of those is to buy meat and cook it. Not human meat, though. That's Freddy's area, not Discover Geek's. This FNaF plushie is basically the supreme for any Five Nights at Freddy's fan (why isn't there a name for us?), released as a super limited collectible that will blow everyone's mind and make them wish they knew us. Er, you. Knew you.

Get this rare Foxy plush on amazon.com

9. Can’t Decide if Ballora is Creepy or Cute? Let’s Go With Both

Ballora plush Five Nights at FreddysSource: Amazon

It's safe to say that could be said for the entire cast of homicidal characters involved in the Five Nights at Freddy's games. Ballora might even be creepier than the Marionette as she pirouettes the line separating our world from the Uncanny Valley. One might even suggest that if she were able to dance for more people, she wouldn't want to decapitate the watchman... Look, I did say might. You're on your own, geeklet.

Get this Ballora plush on amazon.com

10. Nobody Puts Circus Baby in the Corner!

Circus Baby plushSource: Amazon

Something tells me she wouldn't be okay about having to carry a watermelon, either, so it's wise not to ask. However big of a Patrick Swayze fan you may secretly be. She might be creepier than a motion-detecting air-freshener going off on its own accord and be really interested in seeing who's stashed away under the desk, not to mention quite possibly the possessed form of purple man's daughter, but nobody deserves that kind of treatment.

Get the Circus Baby plush on amazon.com

11. Bonnie is Bouncing into First Place Thanks to This

rare limited edition FNaF plushieSource: Amazon

Even above the super rare Foxy? Well, maybe on the same level. This exclusive Bonnie plush was available for a limited time at Hot Topic (who also, if memory serves, had the exclusive Jareth the Goblin King pop I was in love with) but you can still get it because the internet, geeklets, as you well know, is forever. Where most of the FNaF plushies are on the Ballora line of cute and creepy, Bonnie is just cute... ...and wholly terrifying because of it.

Get this rare FNaF plushie on amazon.com

For more merchandise from cult classic games, check these articles out: